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YouPorn Bans Starbucks After Starbucks Bans Porn On Its Free Wi-Fi

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Starbucks signGetty

YouPorn have responded to Starbucks’ banning of porn on their free Wi-Fi in the best possible, but slightly petty, way.

After hearing the news that customers would no longer be able to watch porn in Starbucks branches, the website took action by banning their products in the same way the coffee company did.

Erm, I’m sorry but how can a porn website ban Starbucks? Well, this is where they got clever because YouPorn announced yesterday (November 29) that the coffee chain’s products would officially be banned in their offices from January.

First of all, I just want to ask the obvious question: who on earth watches porn in the middle of a coffee shop? Please, someone enlighten me because I don’t understand the logic behind it.

Second, how many people must have been watching porn in Starbucks for the shop to impose a ban in the first place?! I’m guessing a lot.

Either way, they did enforce the ban earlier this week, with Business Insider reporting that the chain plans to introduce a tool to prevent people from viewing explicit content in stores in the US next year.

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A Starbucks representative told the publication:

To ensure the Third Place remains safe and welcoming to all, we have identified a solution to prevent this content from being viewed within our stores and we will begin introducing it to our US locations in 2019.

And it wasn’t long before pornography sites heard about it and started retaliating, implementing their own bans as revenge.

Forbes announced YouPorn’s ban on Twitter yesterday:

They wrote:

Starbucks has finally banned porn viewing on its free WiFi. So naturally, YouPorn has banned Starbucks in its offices

You can make your mind up for yourself whether you believe the ban is serious or just a witty retort, but a spokesperson for the company told Forbes that it was a genuine memo that was sent to employees within the company yesterday.

The letter itself reads:

Dear YouPorn Team: In light of the news that Starbucks has blocked customers from searching and viewing adult content within their establishments, Starbucks products will officially be banned from the YouPorn offices, effective January 1st 2019.

See your direct manager for any questions.

PA

Yikes. Charlie Hughes, Vice President of the company, sent the memo to colleagues yesterday, giving them one month to prepare for the ban.

I can guarantee every single person will be stocking up on as many Frappuccinos and Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from now until then.

What I want to know is how they’ll monitor everyone’s coffee intake. They aren’t going to have someone patrolling the office just to see if anyone has sneaked a latte in, are they?

Also, everyone knows that telling someone they’re not allowed to do something only makes them want to do it more. The difference between Starbucks’ ban and YouPorn’s ban is that Starbucks can actually impose theirs by using technology.

Unless YouPorn are going to introduce special coffee detectors in their building, I’m not sure how they can really implement it.

But hey, it’s the thought that counts, right?

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